Gina Barreca is fed up with women who lean in, but don't open their mouths. In her latest collection of essays, she turns her attention to subjects like bondage, which she notes now seems to come in fifty shades of grey and has been renamed Spanx. She muses on those lessons learned in Kindergarten that every woman must unlearn, like not having to hold the hand of the person you're waking next to especially if he's a bad boyfriend or needing to have milk, cookies and a nap every day at PM which tends to sap one's energy not to mention what it does to one's waistline. She sounds off about all those things a woman hates to hear from a man, like "Calm down" or "Next time, try buying shoes that fit". Here are tips, lessons and bold confessions about bad boyfriends at any age, about friends we love and ones we can't stand anymore, about waist size and wasted time, about panic, placebos, placentas and certain kinds of not-so adorable paternalism attached to certain kinds of politicians.
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For those who identify with men, they see this cornerstone as a building block rather than a stumbling block. Like Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, or the Rules Girls, they escape the straitjacket of conventional femininity while lacing the stays on their sisters more tightly. Even if you grew up in a house free of Barbies or devoid of Disney movies, no one can be raised in a vacuum. You breathe it in, like pollen. A smart, capable, alert, and confident girl or young woman will often, whether by her family, by her teachers, or by her bosses, be told that she belongs to the small elite group who are not like other members of her sex.